This has been killing me for years now. I never said sorry to your face because I am a coward. I know we pretend that nothing happened but that makes things even worse for me. Does that mean you forgave me already? Of course not. I know you’re waiting for me to say it.. but i just cant bring myself to it. Cause I’m a coward. You always tell me im a strong person. You always say that nothing could break me down. And whenever you do it just crushes me bit by bit because im not as strong as you say i am. I know you’ll never forgive completely me until I actually say sorry.
I’m not going to say sorry on a letter you’ll never read.
I’ll say it to you when i muster up my courage.
Day 12; The person
you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.
I kept my promise while you never kept your end of the bargain. But its alright.You’re happy now. I’ll live my life. It seems as if you already have. I won’t waste time thinking about you anymore.. but only after tonight. After tonight.. you’ll jusst fade to the back of my mind.. never to be sought ever again.
Dear Grandpa, Hi, how are you? I never met you ever in my life.. But I would like to thank you. Thank you so much for being with grandma. If it werent for you, Mom wouldn’t be born and with out her, i wouldnt have been born. No one talks about you.. not even Nanay. It’s as if you never existed. I dont know what the story was… but all i can say is.. I can’t wait to see you in Heaven. :]
Hi, how are you? I never met you ever in my life.. But I would like to thank you. Thank you so much for being with grandma. If it werent for you, Mom wouldn’t be born and with out her, i wouldnt have been born. No one talks about you.. not even Nanay. It’s as if you never existed. I dont know what the story was… but all i can say is.. I can’t wait to see you in Heaven. :]
Dear Alex .
Hey you.. It seems as if we don’t talk as much.. but then again that’s how its always been since i left Hawaii; I should be used to this by now- right? But anyways… I never got to thank you. Believe me, i would say this to your face but i dont think we’ll ever see each other again even though we said we would. Why? because that’s life. We like to say things we mean but not act on them. But anyways.. yes. Thank you for being my friend in Hawaii. Without you, i probably wouldve been lost and a lone. You were always someone that could make me smile, even on the worst days; like when my bf and i were having a hard time.. the break up.. anything ! you were always there ! Even though you said mean things to me all the time, it was ok. That’s just how you were and not once were you fake to me and thats what i liked alot about you. I always liked you then, i tried to give you hints but you jus tnever caught on. But that’s how life is right??
Even though we’re far apart… Youre still a memory away.
Dear James Franco.
You are simply amazing. I really wish I could meet you in person ! But I cant. You’re too popular! Even if I did, I’d probably faint or have a heart attack because it would probably melt because of your killer smile ! :]
Dear Allan Vo.
You have been the longest internet friend I ever had… And its crazy cause we’re still in touch after all these years ! We met in 04? On GAIA?! Hahaha. Oh man were those the days ! Too bad you live in Australa .. If you were in the states, we’d probably would’ve met already or had a fling. Hahaha ! Hey, I didn’t even think about feelings until you brought it up. But im glad we can just stay friends. Its awesome how I can tell you anything and you could do the same , giving each other advice, talk about anime, TV shows. Whatever!! Even though we never met in person, I still hold you as an important person in my life and im glad we met- online. Haha.
We’ve known each other for a little bit more than 6 years now. hell, who knew that after everything that has happened.. Things would end up like this. But it’s for the best right? It has to be. Because all the unanswered questions don’t hurt me anymore.
I’ll always have past feelings for you because youre a part of my past.. And what’s in my past is always with me & will always be a part of my life. So no matter what any one says, you’ll always have some kind of place in my heart somewhere and that’s where you’ll stay forever.
You chose your side even though you said we’ll always be friends.. And since we are.. Im not upset that you deleted me in your life. I’m rather happy for y ou because now we can live our own lives and be happy with the person we care for most.
If somehow at the end we ended up regretting everything we’ve done… at least we could say.. ‘we tried’.
I’m not sure if we met or not.. But I can’t wait til we become friends. Who knows.. Maybe you’re someone that will save my life, or maybe someone that would hire me for a job.. Or maybe someone that will change my life. I’m not sure now.. But it will be clear by then. Right now… lets live life.
You were so clear and bright when I was a kid. But now, you’re just a puzzle, a rubix cube. I can’t make up my mind on what you’re suppose to be.. Everything’s out of place. I wish you were just easier to figure out back when I was 7 when I would just repeat you all the time. Now.. I’m not too sure if you’re even real…
I’ll probably never say this to your face but..
Thanks for always being there. I know I was a burden right from the beginning.. You know when mom just left me you & arnie at home all the time? Yeah.. Because you became the man of the house. You always took care of me and always took my side whenever arnie and I got into petty little fights. Hahaha. Those were the days. But yes..
Thank you for always taking care of me…even to this day ! I know you worry about me a lot.. But its ok now. I’m grown up, ill make a few mistakes every now and then.. But at least ill know that you’ll be there when I need you most.